Nothing Stays the Same

2017 was a huge year for our family. So many milestones and achievements for our two lads. We never could have imagined what an exciting year it would be! These last few months I have put writing on hold to immerse myself in the mum-moments. To relive and create new memories. 2018 will bring time in abundance to write … 2018 is our year of Change.

To be honest, I struggle with change. I miss special things that will never be the same – even when it’s change for the best of reasons. Though I have been soooo excited for both our lads and the opportunities that await them this year, eight days before the eldest’s departure, it hit me. Things were never going to be the same again. Life was entering an exciting and different stage. There would be … change!

I may have cried … for days … (And that was before he left.) There may have been times I thought I would choke on my sadness. Squeezing tight then letting go may have been one of the hardest things I’ve done. He may have flown over the oceans; so far away – for so long. And I may have survived! I may even be smiling again. Change may not have been as bad as I had imagined … (I should have learnt this by now.)

Which is just as well, because that is only the first of the changes in store for our family this year!

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This post is a part of the Poetry Friday link-up. The poetry form I’ve played with is the lai – a French style following an AAB rhyme scheme over three 3-lined stanzas. The first two lines have 5 syllables, and the third has 2 – and there are only the two rhymes used throughout. You can read my first lai, about willie wagtails, here. I’ve enjoyed writing lais for different photos taken over the new year period – so expect to see more, in coming weeks. 🙂

Read more about Poetry Friday.
Follow the link-up with A Journey Through the Pages.
Thanks, Kay!

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29 comments

  1. Wow! That is a LOT of emotion to carry through the time of change. I hope you are managing to surf the waves. I’m getting to that stage too. It sure is scary for me. But, I also have changed if I have to admit it. I’ve become someone who has a life and dreams parallel to my children. So, I’m hopeful I don’t hit the rocks too hard! The lai form is intriguing. I’m going to have to five that a try. Cheers to you and take care. I’m very glad you’re here for PF. Everything is fodder for writing!

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    • Those 10 days of tears prompted by the ‘thought’ of change have been much worse than the change itself, Linda. 🙂 And thankfully I have a very busy/exciting year of writing activities lined up – so, lots to look forward to, and do!! Really, God has it all timed perfectly – but I just had to allow myself that time of emotions to process things – and come out the other side smiling. #allgoodnow

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  2. I hope your son sends you lots of photos. And when he comes home he can share the stories behind the photos! It’s so much easier these days to keep in touch. Take care and keep busy writing!

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    • It was the awful thought of losing contact for huge chunks at a time that just about undid me, Diane. But you’re right, it is so much easier to keep in touch – and that has been wonderful!

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  3. Oh, Kat you are tantalizing with what you say and what you don’t. I want to give you a big hug. And I gulp as I know my day will come. My oldest has 2 1/2 years left before the coop will be too small for him. My little rooster will strut away. And I will be left with a feather or two.

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  4. I wrote a poem when my son left, too. It is hard, I agree, but as you said, it’s also for a wonderful reason. The poem touches me as I know it will touch others, Kat. Hugs to you in this new “change”, the first I guess. Diane is right, photos & skping, etc. make it a bit easier.

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    • We always turn to poetry… 🙂 I’m very thankful for friends who messaged at just the right moment… And the coffee, chat and shopping afternoon with a friend the first day I was home alone. I thought I’d spend a week at least, running away from home – but I just needed that first day.

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  5. It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it, when things are changing? I think the biggest thing is not knowing what to expect. I have come to realize that you never really can tell what will happen next, which is why “flexibility” is my watchword 🙂 Thanks for sharing your sweet sorrow with us, Kat.

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  6. Oh, I’ve never played around with a lai, you’ve got me inspired! And I have to laugh, when I was 18 I stayed with my boyfriend for a few nights, and came home to find that my parents had sold my bed and packed all my stuff into boxes. “Oh, we thought you had moved out!” They couldn’t have been happier to have their spare room back. 😀

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    • I can definitely relate to that spare room conundrum, Jane. And I won’t deny that this was an excellent opportunity (not lost!) to produce some boxes and instigate a clean and declutter, so that we can make better use of the room in his absence. But in defence of my tears… he very likely won’t be back for 12months – perhaps longer. So… that’s a very long time all of a sudden! :’)

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  7. I can so relate. I put my daughter on a plane to cross the ocean to England earlier this month. I am so excited for her, but miss her dearly. Thank goodness for FaceTime and Google Duo. Video chats make England seem so much closer. I wish the best for you and yours through all the changes this year.

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    • I don’t know why I didn’t think of the Hodding Carter Jnr quote when responding to your comment, Kay, because it very much fits you, too. Sharing it again… “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.”

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  8. I can relate to these feelings so well, Kat. Your lai is beautiful, so full of love for your son, and it made me teary. I’m probably especially susceptible right now because I just got back from dropping my youngest daughter back at school. I got used to her being home again and now have to readjust. Sigh… On a brighter note, I’m looking forward to reading more of your lais.

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    • The day my son left a friend commented on my instagram post; “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” (Hodding Carter Jnr) I thought it was so beautiful. Hoping it will bring a teary smile to you, too.

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  9. Pingback: Picture Books and Poetry « Kathryn Apel


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