Creeped out!

If you know me, you soon know that I love chocolate – and *shudders* hate hairy huntsman spiders.

Because I find them kinda very freaky – and because I don’t want to be faced with these photos every time I open my blog… I have hidden the spider pics further down in the post, so click on ‘More’ to read… more! 😛 From experience, I know they hide in sheds – and I know they like to scuttle like a ripple across the ceiling and then launch their hairy bodies  (Eeeeeek!) at me. But we will not go there. I have toooooo too many stories that I could tell! (Errr… even one in the early hours of my wedding day, now that I think about it.)

I have been scared of huntsman spiders forever. My mum is scared of huntsman spiders. Heh – lots of people are scared of huntsman spiders! But I have to tell you, the huntsman spiders that freaked me out when I grew up are babies to the mammoth bird-eating-spider-like variety that I discovered when I first visited my (now) husband’s family home.

His father once joked that they were fattening them up for Christmas dinner. Not funny!

Such spiders are not welcome in or around my home. Sometimes hairy huntsman spiders appear… and disappear…

During the week, my husband commented about the spider dirt dropping on the canvas of our caravan… At the time, I thought daddy long legs. (Daddy long legs are messy pests, but they aren’t freaky scary.) I should have known! I didn’t even suspect. I could not have IMAGINED what I would discover… today.

You see, I thought those two brown lengths extending from the shed beam were in fact rusty wire. I have seen them before. They were just above my wheelie bin… Just above my head… often! Today I looked a little closer…

and saw…

HAIRS!!!

Eeeeeeek!

TWO HAIRY LEGS!

Screeeeeeee!

You can see why it is called a HAIRY huntsman spider.

That is my broom – and he’s wrapped around it! Did you see the SIZE of him?!?! Look at those fangs.

The spider is no longer living in my shed.

And I have a sore throat.

He almost landed on my son’s head.

And my skin is still creeping.

Even a tramp over green paddocks failed to soothe my shattered nerves…

NOT a spider!

Not a spider either.

Needless to say, I was a little jittery when I went walking this afternoon.

And I’m shuddering all over again as I write this for you.

Hairy Huntsman Spider 

If there’s one thing that I dread,
it’s a trip out to the shed,
when the moon has chased the sunlight far away.
For I know, without a doubt,
that the monster lurks about,
’cause by night is when the Huntsman seeks his prey.

So my spotlight scans the beams,
seeking out the brilliant gleams,
of the beady eyes upon the spider’s head.
When I can delay no more,
then I dart in through the door,
To stand, peering high and low inside the shed.

My imagination flares,
lest he catch me unawares,
for that spider is a threat I can’t ignore!
But I think he smells my fear,
and it draws him ever near,
as I fumble in a frenzy through my chore.

With my torch I wildly sweep,
lest my nemesis should creep,
from behind a post or some such shadowed place.
For I have this vivid fear,
that the huntsman will appear,
to pounce! – And scurry, right across my face!

Shrill and frantic are my cries,
when I see the glinting eyes,
that strike terror and revulsion to my core.
Not a creature of my mind,
but a huge and hairy kind –
for that huntsman isn’t hiding anymore!

Worse! – I’m stuck inside the shed,
with the monster that I dread,
’cause there’s one place I forgot to check before!
Though my mind shrieks, “Run away!”
yet my limbs cannot obey,
for I see that spider, poised above the door!

‘Hairy Huntsman Spider’ © Kathryn Apel 2004 (All rights reserved.)
Winner – 2005 Adelaide Plains Cup Festival Bush Poetry Competition.

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23 comments

  1. LOL Ok so you got me in with the chocolate and then there was spiders….. really not as good as chocolate! But a funny read all the same lol.

    PS. I love the pics of the “not spiders” I can relate to the after scare freak out jittery jitters.

    🙂

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  2. Sorry, I like Huntsmen. I carry them out carefully in a plastic container and shake them in the garden. I love them because they eat the venemous redbacks who would like to bite and kill me.

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    • Really? I haven’t heard that one before, Angela. (But I don’t think it helps my shuddery-juddery nervous system.) My friend Barb also tends her huntsmen. They are allowed to stay inside!

      I say you are both welcome to all of mine!!!!

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  3. Hi Kat,
    After reading this I don’t think I like the choc type either. Now I think I’ll jump for a while at the tiniest rustle of paper so say a big beware to your son! Don’t think I’ll go out to the shed either for a while…

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    • My hubby despairs any time we go to the shed at night. I have the torch (must) and am wildly sweeping the beams/walls/roof… while he is peering into the dark trying in vain to see any snakes that may be on the ground.

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  4. Oh Boy! Oh Boy! I so hate spiders! In Florida here, we have massive huge Wolf spiders and Banana spiders! EW! But you guys from down under take the cake!! 😛

    I loved your little poem…could even make for a great little book for Halloween! 😀

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  5. Pingback: Day Seven #PiBoIdMo « Kathryn Apel

  6. Pingback: Hairy Huntsman Spider – Repost « Kathryn Apel

  7. Wow–fireflies and two different spiders and I’m only three down the list of PF posts this morning! Very dramatic story, Kat, and great spiderbroom photos. I’m personally not bothered by spiders, but snakes creep me out, from the smallest to the (ew) largest. I did much better with Aragog than Nagini! I”m curious about your form here, with the long 3rd and 6th lines–is it something I should know the name of?

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    • I am not aware that it has a name, Heidi – or even if there was a poem that inspired my rhythm when I wrote this. (It was a long while ago.) I suspect it was just the rhythm that suited the suspense/sinister tale – and so it fell into it. It perhaps breaks all the rules of poetry… 😛

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